


Another Big Red Ornery Miracle

by twistyladder



Series: The Star and the Fire [1]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Not Actually Unrequited Love, background Knock Out/Breakdown - Freeform, background Megatron/Optimus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistyladder/pseuds/twistyladder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While the Lost Light is back on Cybertron, Rodimus and Starscream decide they're fed up with Optimus and Megatron being so buddy-buddy with each other. So, they decide to give them a taste of their own medicine.</p>
<p>Naturally, nothing goes according to plan at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Perfect Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Liv @hazelnutpon (on Twitter) for conspiring with me about this ship and for beta-reading! You the real MVP.
> 
> Please heed the tags on this fic, theres gonna be some stuff mentioned in later chapters that may be upsetting to some.

The Lost Light had returned to the homeworld to restock on various supplies and to allow the crew to visit old friends before heading back out into the unknown. In the interest of showing goodwill (whether or not it was actually his idea, no one knew), Starscream had invited everyone on the ship, as well as the higher-ups of the Cybertronian government, to a sort of “welcome home party.”

Ultra Magnus refused to go, citing that he had work to do on the Lost Light and “had no time for such frivolousness.” It had taken some serious arm-twisting, but Rodimus had at least convinced Megatron to come. The former warlord had eventually (after several minutes of Rodimus whining at him) demanded to see the guest list, and whatever he’d seen on it had evidently persuaded him to agree.

Rodimus was starting to get a pretty strong hunch about which guest Megatron had been so eager to see. He glanced back over at the corner of the dimly-lit event hall where his co-captain was seated with Optimus Prime, deep in discussion with their chairs pushed juuuust a little too close together. Rolling his eyes, Rodimus was about to turn his attention back to his engex when he heard someone make a noise of annoyance mirroring his own right next to him. Turning to see who it was, he about jumped a mile, having nearly forgotten he was in the “seat of honor” right next to the High Chancellor of Cybertron.

Having evidently noticed he’d been looking in the same direction, Starscream made eye contact with Rodimus, a corner of his mouth curled down. “Those two are absolutely insufferable,” he remarked, jerking his head in the direction of the former arch-enemies.

“I know, right?!” Rodimus exclaimed, a little surprised to have found common ground with the generally disliked ex-Con. “Back on the Lost Light, you can barely mention the name ‘Optimus Prime’ without Megs getting this super weird look on his face.”

The seeker scoffed. “That’s nothing compared to what he was like during the war. The way he talked, I could barely tell if he wanted to kill Optimus or frag him.”

Rodimus swivelled in his chair to fully face Starscream. “Oh, believe me, I saw plenty of that. D’you remember when Megatron randomly turned himself in to us, a bit after you guys somehow managed to revive him from getting shot by that human?”

Starscream’s wings twitched down, obviously remembering something unpleasant. “Yes, quite clearly.”

Rodimus paused to take a drink, feeling the need to be a little more buzzed to retell this particular story. “Yeah, so we had him prisoner, and while we were heading back to Cybertron on Omega Supreme, Optimus decided he wanted to have a chat with Megs, even though he’d already had Prowl interrogate him.”

“Oh Primus, I can already see where this is going,” Starscream said, already looking disgusted.

Rodimus nodded. “So we all leave the room, and all the security cameras in there had been turned off- but Optimus had forgotten to turn off the live audio feed. The next thing we know, we’re all listening to the two of them having a nice little conversation like they were best friends, and _not_ a couple of guys who’d been trying to kill each other for the past four million years. Megatron wasn’t even restrained or anything!”

Starscream rolled his optics. “Why am I not surprised? I guess he couldn’t resist the opportunity, even though the only reason he was there was to get a way to get the Decepticons back to Cybertron.”

“If only the Autobots and Decepticons could all get along as well as their leaders do,” Rodimus snorted. “Bet that’d make _your_ job easier.”

The seeker grinned, his red optics brightening with amusement, which was possibly the most pleasant expression Rodimus had ever seen on his face. “Oh, I don’t know. Seems like then we’d just have a different kind of ‘tension’ to deal with,” he air-quoted.

Rodimus laughed, the sound trailing off as he glanced back over at the two in the corner, an idea starting to form in his head. “You know, we should give them a taste of their own medicine,” he said conspiratorially, looking back at Starscream.

Starscream just frowned, looking confused. “Er… what?”

“Oops, sorry, that’s an Earth idiom,” Rodimus apologized, remembering belatedly that for the majority of the time the Autobots had been stuck on Earth, Starscream had been on the asteroid belt. “What I mean is, we should show them how it feels.”

“By doing… what, exactly?”

“By being all weird with each other, like they are!” Rodimus attempted to explain, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Megatron and Optimus. “I mean, only when they’re around, of course, otherwise what’s the point.”

Starscream’s previous friendly posture had gradually evaporated throughout this exchange, and now he seemed downright distrustful, his wings drawn up tensely from their relaxed position. “You do realize that I have a public image to keep up, which I have enough problems with _without_ pulling immature pranks.”

“Aw, come on! It doesn’t even have to be anything major, just enough to mess with them.” Rodimus protested. “Just _imagine_ the looks on their faces if they thought we were getting all buddy-buddy.” He held up a hand and crossed two of his servos as if to illustrate the concept.

Starscream looked conflicted. He glared silently at Rodimus for a moment, then looked towards where Optimus now had a hand on Megatron’s shoulder, and finally turned back towards Rodimus, his eyes narrowed determinedly. “All right. Let’s do it.”

Rodimus pumped his fist. “Yes! This is gonna be hilarious, just you wait.”

“I don’t suppose you have an idea for how to actually set this plan in motion, do you?” the seeker asked derisively, taking a sip of his almost-forgotten drink.

“Well, I barely even expected you to agree, so no, I don’t.” Rodimus grinned, unruffled. “Give me a klik and I bet I can come up with something, though.”

It was eventually decided that Rodimus would give Starscream a tour of the Lost Light the next day, since it was easier to come up with a feasible excuse for that than if Rodimus were to abruptly start hanging out in the capitol building.

As they left later that night, Rodimus decided to start The Plan a little early, giving Starscream a friendly pat on the back and chirping, “See you tomorrow!” Starscream jumped a little at the unexpected contact, but managed to recover quickly, turning to nod at the Autobot with a devious grin on his face before transforming and flying off into the night.

Megatron caught up with Rodimus shortly afterward, squinting after the receding light of the seeker’s thrusters. “Rodimus, what in the world was that?” he questioned him, sounding somewhat bewildered.

“What, with Starscream?” Rodimus asked, feigning innocence. “We had a good chat tonight. You know, he’s really not such a bad guy if you look past all the bluster.”

Megatron looked down at him with an expression on his face like he’d just drunk sour energon. “Is that so.”

Rodimus just grinned. “What, are you the only one allowed to befriend old enemies around here?” 

Megatron sputtered indignantly at that. Rodimus just laughed, transformed, and sped away.

✩✩✩

Thus, Starscream found himself by the Lost Light’s main entry port the following morning, receiving a mildly intimidating staredown from an Autobot war hero.

“I assure you, Ultra Magnus, as improbable as it may seem, I was actually invited here by your superior officer,” the seeker said cooly, his arms crossed across his cockpit.

Although it barely seemed like it should be possible, Ultra Magnus’s frown deepened. “ _Megatron_ invited you here?”

“What?! No!” Starscream shrieked, wings flaring in outrage. “ _Rodimus_ invited me here, you-- listen, will you just call him, if you refuse to believe me?”

The big Autobot sighed and commed the captain, while Starscream tapped his pede and glanced around at the other ships in the docking bay, which were dwarfed by the immensity of the Lost Light. Where in the world Rodimus had found such an impressive craft, he couldn’t imagine.

Mere moments later, the doors slid open behind Ultra Magnus to reveal Rodimus who, judging from the speed at which his cooling fans were running, had just run the length of the ship in his haste to get there. “Hey, Stars!” he exclaimed, nudging past his second in command to shake the seeker’s hand.

“ _Please_ don’t call me that,” Starscream grumbled, but accepted the handshake. Rodimus then proceeded to not let go of his hand, using it to tug him through the door, past Ultra Magnus who looked like he was using most of his willpower not to protest what his captain was doing.

The first room Starscream was dragged into appeared to be a massive main entry hall, with various doors leading off of it and a balcony that was likely used for the officers to make announcements from. The room was empty save for them, most of the crew likely out enjoying their time back on Cybertron. Hanging from the ceiling was a banner that read “WE’VE ACHIEVED SOMETHING” in bold black letters, with “AGAIN” scrawled awkwardly underneath.

“As you can see, this is our main congregating hall. It’s got enough room to comfortably fit everyone on board the ship,” Rodimus announced. “When we first took off, w-”

“Are you going to let go of my hand?” Starscream interrupted him.

Rodimus blinked. “Why? Aren’t we supposed to be starting our plan?”

“Well, yes, but-” Starscream glanced around, wondering if he’d missed something. “There’s no one else around.”

Rodimus shrugged, jostling Starscream’s arm. “Well, there will be soon. C’mon!”

And so Starscream found himself tugged through a set of double doors, and into a long hallway. All along the hallway were numbered doors, which seemed to lead to individual quarters. About halfway down the hall, one of the doors abruptly slid open just as they were about to pass it, and out stepped a bot Starscream only knew of from old wartime vids about the Wreckers.

Whirl’s lone yellow optic dilated wide at the sight of them (well, probably just him), and there was an audible hum of the guns in his torso coming online even as he greeted them.

“Heya, Rodimus!” the hovercraft said in what seemed to be an attempt at a cheerful tone, waving a claw. “What’s with the ‘Con arm candy, huh?”

“Just giving Cybertron’s new leader the grand tour. You know how it is,” Rodimus replied nonchalantly, evidently unfazed. Starscream, on the other hand, was poised to bolt the instant the ex-Wrecker made a move.

“That so?” Whirl stared at Starscream, face (or lack thereof) utterly unreadable, for a few more nervewracking seconds, before abruptly relaxing, roughly patting Rodimus on the shoulder. “Well, you have fun with that. I’m off to Maccadam’s- s’been too long since I’ve had some engex that wasn’t so watered down you could read through it.” With that, he strode past them, accidentally-on-purpose clipping Starscream’s wing with a fin as he went.

It was at that point that Starscream realized that he was gripping Rodimus’s hand hard enough to practically dent the metal. Muttering an apology, he loosened his grip.

“Welllllllllll,” Rodimus said awkwardly. “What say I show you the bridge?”

The rest of the tour went on comparatively uneventfully, with the pair of them drawing a few odd glances from the skeleton crew still working on the ship, but no other confrontations.

Rodimus had decided to “save the best for last,” so the final place he took Starscream to was Swerve’s bar.

As soon as they entered, there was the sound of a glass shattering on the floor.

“Yeesh, Rodimus, give a guy a little warning before you bring a high-ranking Decepticon into his bar!” complained the stocky minibot behind the bar, who Starscream assumed was Swerve.

“As if there isn’t already one in here,” scoffed Cyclonus just loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the room. He was sitting at the bar next to another minibot, who had turned to stare at them wide-eyed from behind a bright blue visor. At first, Starscream thought Cyclonus was referring to himself- then, he noticed the couple in the corner booth.

“Ah, hello Rodimus,” Optimus Prime called from his seat across from Megatron, who had turned around to see who had just walked in and seemed to be deeply regretting it.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Starscream muttered, simultaneous to Rodimus yelling, “Oh, hey Optimus! What brings you here?”

“I was just checking in on your co-captain here,” Optimus explained benignly, gesturing to Megatron. “It would seem your travels have continued to be… quite eventful.”

Rodimus shrugged nonchalantly, shaking Starscream’s arm again as he continued to determinedly hold onto his hand. “Such are the risks one takes travelling in a quantum-powered ship with such a motley crew.”

Optimus then evidently saw fit to address one of the multiple proverbial elephants in the room. “Might I ask why you have Starscream with you? I would not have expected him to be willing to take time out of his schedule to... socialize.”

“Well-” Rodimus started, but Starscream interrupted him.

“ _Starscream_ is standing right here and can speak for himself, thank you,” Cybertron’s leader retorted. “Rodimus here courteously offered to give me a tour of his vessel at the party last night, and I, of course, accepted. I have Rattrap taking my calls until I return.”

Starscream didn’t miss the mildly incredulous look both Optimus and Megatron fixed Rodimus with. After a moment, though, Optimus nodded sagely. “Well, Rodimus, I’m glad to see you making efforts for diplomacy as well. Don’t let me keep you any longer, though- I’m sure both of you have business to take care of.”

Rodimus shrugged _again_ (Starscream was going to have to talk to him about that if this hand-holding thing was going to become a habit), turning to look at the seeker. “I dunno, you feeling like sticking around for some engex before heading back?”

Starscream shook his head. “I should get back to my duties. A leader’s work is never done, as I’m sure you’re aware,” he added with a slightly smug smile.

Rodimus just grinned back at him. “You know, I should probably check up on things, myself. I’m sure I’ve missed a couple dozen memos from Magnus by now.”

“All right. I’ll… see you later, then?” Starscream asked hesitantly, which actually fit flawlessly with the illusion that they were a recently-together couple, when he was in reality just unsure of how a couple would act towards each other at all.

“Of course,” Rodimus asserted. “I’ll be in touch. Here, I’ll show you to the exit- these hallways can be tricky.”

With that, the two of them exited the bar, Rodimus’s hand braced familiarly on the small of Starscream’s back. As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, Rodimus broke down laughing, leaning on Starscream’s shoulder for support.

“Did you see the looks on their faces?!” the Autobot howled, his vents wheezing. “I thought Megs’s optics were gonna pop out of his faceplate!”

Starscream couldn’t help but grin as well. “I have to admit it- you were right. This has the potential to be the perfect revenge.”


	2. All's Fair in Love and Politics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to go according to plan... sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, shoutout to Liv (@hazelnutpon on Twitter) for beta reading this fic! The next chapter should be the last one, although I'm thinking about adding an epilogue.
> 
> There's not much to warn for in this chapter, save for some descriptions of alcohol consumption.

Rodimus was somewhat surprised to wake up the next morning to a message from Starscream waiting on his commlink. He pulled it up on his tablet, squinting at the screen through optics still booting up from recharge.

_Rodimus,_  
It just so happens that, as the Council of Worlds is still in its early stages, it is common for important figures from its member planets to attend its meetings along with the official delegates. Being a significant individual in Cybertronian politics yourself, I’m sure it wouldn’t seem out of place for you observe today’s Council meeting as my guest. Coincidentally, I believe Optimus Prime will also be in attendance.  
I’ll be waiting for you outside the capitol building at 0730. Don’t be late.  
-High Chancellor Starscream I 

The Autobot couldn’t help but laugh at the title Starscream had signed the memo with- of all the ideas for him to have picked up from Earth’s culture. Then, he noticed the time Starscream had said to meet him… which was in 15 minutes.

Suddenly feeling much more online, Rodimus bolted for the door. He almost tripped over Rewind while dashing for the energon dispensers, apologizing to the disgruntled minibot over his shoulder while downing a couple of cubes and not actually stopping at any point. The moment he was free of the Lost Light, he switched to his alt mode, probably violating several speed limits and guaranteeing himself a lecture from Ultra Magnus later.

Rodimus pulled up in front of the capitol building (which was technically still under construction) with about 30 seconds to spare before the requested time. Sure enough, there was Starscream, observing his approach with a bemused expression on his face from one of the benches out front. The sports car transformed, and attempted to saunter casually up to the High Chancellor as if he hadn’t just nearly driven over the curb in his haste.

“Glad you could make it,” Starscream greeted him, rising from his seat and holding out a hand. His wings were held in a relaxed position, and glinted attractively in the morning light.

Rodimus shook it, deciding it would probably be more appropriate to actually let go this time. “Same here. Who all’s gonna be at this meeting? I’m not exactly up to date on Cybertronian politics at the moment.”

“Well, there’s currently six member planets, counting Cybertron itself,” Starscream explained, motioning for Rodimus to follow him into the building. “Most of the colonies have two delegates each, with the exception of Caminus, which just has Windblade. You’ll probably get along well with the Velocitronians- as the name of their planet suggests, their culture places great value on speed.”

“Sounds like my kinda place,” Rodimus agreed, gazing around at the entry hall. A few mechs he didn’t recognize were standing around chatting, one of them speaking to a bored-looking secretary. The whole scene was watched over by several hulking guards, all of whom wore featureless masks over their faces. Rodimus leaned closer to Starscream, speaking quietly out of the corner of his mouth. “What’s with the goons?”

“Oh, those are just the Badgeless. They keep order around all official buildings,” Starscream explained casually. “You wouldn’t _believe_ the troubles I’ve had with people wanting to make a ruckus around here just for the sake of it.”

Rodimus hummed. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess. So, when’s the meeting gonna start?”

“Not for a little while, but we might as well get there early. It’ll give you a chance to meet some of the delegates before we begin.” Starscream led him into an elevator. However, once they were inside, the seeker just stared at the button panel as if he’d never seen it before.

Rodimus waited a few moments of awkward silence before raising an eyebrow. “Are you… gonna push a button?”

Starscream frowned. “I’ve… never actually used this before. I always just fly up to a balcony on the floor the council room is on, so I don’t know what number it is.”

Rodimus barely contained a chuckle. “Well, is there someone you could ask?”

Starscream sighed, then activated his audio commlink. “Rattrap, are you available?”

“Yeah, what is it boss?” came a nasal voice from the other side of the connection.

“What floor is the Council of Worlds meeting room on? I’m accompanying a grounder this time so I have to take the elevator.”

A gross cackle came from the other end of the commlink, which gave Rodimus a sudden appreciation for the comparative pleasantness of Starscream’s own voice. Said seeker bristled in response to the mockery. “I don’t have time for this, Rattrap! Just tell me what floor its on!”

“S-sorry, boss, heheheh,” Rattrap seemed to be struggling to contain his laughter. “It’s the twelfth floor. Need any help figuring out where the door is, while I’m at it?”

Starscream just growled and hung up. “See? I get no respect around here,” he said irritably, punching the “12” button.

The elevator moved alarmingly fast to their chosen floor, the doors sliding open to reveal a wide but relatively nondescript hallway. There was no one around, but voices could be heard from somewhere further along.

“Contrary to the insinuations of my _lovely_ assistant, I do indeed know how to get to the Council room from here. This way,” said Starscream, and led Rodimus to a large set of double doors, which slid open at the press of a button.

Inside was quite an impressive display- a highly varied assortment of Cybertronians were either standing or seated around a large circular console, the center of which was projecting a map of Cybertron and its allied colonies. The room itself was also circular, and seemed to be inside of a tower, with windows all around showing a view of the city.

All conversation in the room paused slightly as Starscream and Rodimus entered, but restarted rather quickly. The only one in the room whose interest was held by their arrival was a sleek-looking red mech, who was standing with a hulking blue bot nearly twice his size.

“Starscream!” called the red one, sauntering over to them with his companion following close behind. “Who’s this you’ve brought with you? Have I started a trend without realizing it? ‘Bring your conjunx to work day,’” the bot drawled, expressively air-quoting.

Starscream seemed unfazed by the implication- either that, or he was as used to this as Rodimus was to Whirl’s behavior. “Were you not at the celebration two days ago, Knock Out? This is Rodimus, co-captain of the famed Lost Light.”

Knock Out tilted his head slightly. “Celebration…? Oh, right. I do recall receiving an invitation, but I had… other things to be doing. Anyway, it is a pleasure to meet you, Rodimus. Always nice to meet another racer,” he said, his tone slipping effortlessly from disinterested to cordial.

Rodimus shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too. Are you one of the Velocitronians Starscream was telling me about?”

The racer’s eyebrows went up slightly. “Why, yes. And while he may not look it, Breakdown here is as well.”

The blue bot inclined his head. “It hasn’t exactly been easy living on Velocitron built like I am. Knock Out’s been working with the Council to find ways to fix that, though.”

Knock Out grinned up at him. “Indeed. It’s time the rest of our planet learned that _speed_ isn’t everything.” 

Breakdown gently elbowed him, chuckling. Rodimus was starting to get the impression that everything this guy said was going to sound like an innuendo, whether he actually intended for it to be or not.

Starscream cleared his voicebox. “Well, will you look at the time!” he exclaimed, slightly louder than necessary. “All right everyone, let’s all find our seats!”

The High Chancellor strode to his seat at the table, with Rodimus hesitantly following behind, unsure of what the protocol was for guests at a Council of Worlds meeting. Glancing to the side, he noted that Breakdown was standing at Knock Out’s shoulder (which only exaggerated their extreme height difference), and so decided to follow his lead, standing behind and slightly to the left of Starscream.

Starscream clasped his hands together in front of him. “All right- today’s meeting of the Council of Worlds will now come to or-”

The door on the opposite end of the chamber slammed open, interrupting him. “Sorry we’re late!” exclaimed Windblade, rushing in with Chromia behind her. And sure enough, just as Starscream had said in his message, following promptly behind Chromia was Optimus Prime.

The Camien seeker took her seat, visibly winded. Next to her, Knock Out unsubtly rolled his optics.

“How nice of you to join us, Delegate,” said Starscream acidly.

Taking his place behind Windblade, Optimus looked up to see Rodimus standing with Starscream. The Prime’s eyebrows went up, the only part of his expression betrayed by his battlemask. Rodimus gave him a sheepish little wave.

The rest of the meeting went about as well as Rodimus could have expected from a governmental body with such… colorful members. It started to get a little creepy how the Devisens kept finishing each others’ sentences, the Eukarians and Carcerians were barely prevented from being at each others’ throats, and Windblade used more of her time on the floor than seemed necessary criticizing Starscream’s policies. If the Camien was supposed to be some kind of bastion of fairness, Rodimus was starting to get some idea of what Starscream meant by “getting no respect around here.”

When the meeting ended and most of the delegates had left the room, Starscream visibly deflated in his seat. Rodimus tentatively put a hand on his shoulder, both as part of The Plan (Optimus hadn’t yet left the room) and because it seemed like the seeker really could use it.

“And here I thought politics _before_ the war were bad,” Rodimus joked, attempting to lighten the mood. Starscream just sighed.

Rodimus was pensive for a moment. “You know what we should do? Go to Maccadams. I haven’t been there since Blurr re-opened the place and I hear the engex is _killer._ ”

Starscream swivelled his chair slightly to look at him, frowning. “I... don’t generally like to go there. My slight up-tick in popularity during Megatron’s trial notwithstanding, people generally aren’t very happy to see me in their establishments.”

Since his hand was already there, Rodimus patted him on the shoulder. “Hey, it’ll be all right! I’ll be there with you, and maybe- hey, Optimus!” Rodimus abruptly called across the room. “Wanna go to Maccadams with us?”

Optimus, Windblade and Chromia all looked up so synchronously that it was almost comical. “I… suppose I don’t have anything else planned today,” the Prime said, his brow slightly furrowed.

“See?” Rodimus said cheerfully. “Nobody’s gonna screw with you if you walk in with me and Optimus!”

“I, er, have to go check on Metroplex,” Windblade excused herself, Chromia tersely following her out with a nod to Optimus.

“Mind if we tag along?” Knock Out piped up, who had been about to leave with his conjunx. “I’ve been meaning to go back to Maccadam’s now that things have calmed down.”

“Sure, the more the merrier!” Rodimus agreed happily. Starscream just gave him a withering look.

✩✩✩

The somewhat bizarre group made it to Maccadams in good time, despite Starscream refusing Rodimus’s demands to “race him there.” The look on Blurr’s face was priceless as they walked in- Optimus first, followed by Rodimus chatting away to Starscream, with Knock Out and Breakdown bringing up the rear.

“Hey there Rodimus,” the former racer said somewhat flatly as the Lost Light’s co-captain stepped up to the bar. “Quite a group you’ve brought in here. What can I get you?”

As Rodimus continued to chat up the bartender, Starscream stood awkwardly next to Optimus, unsure if he should attempt to find a table. Despite having arrived with them, Knock Out and Breakdown quickly wandered off towards a secluded booth, and Starscream wasn’t exactly eager to follow them. Fortunately, Optimus made the decision for him, motioning vaguely towards an empty booth and heading towards it. Shrugging, Starscream followed him, Rodimus coming up a moment later with three glasses of high-grade balanced cleverly in his hands.

“So Rodimus,” Optimus said as the other Autobot sat down and distributed the drinks, seeming eager to break the somewhat tense silence. “I’ve heard quite a few stories about what’s happened to you and your crew. Something about… time travel?”

Rodimus barked a laugh. “Ohhhh yeah, that was a real interesting escapade. We got to see you before the war, you know! But you probably don’t remember it, thanks to the neat memory trick Chromedome came up with to make sure we didn’t accidentally cause a paradox or something.”

Optimus’s eyebrows went up. “Oh really? What in the world necessitated your going that far back?”

“Well, let me start at the beginning…” Rodimus said, gesturing grandly.

As the two Autobots continued to discuss the happenings on the Lost Light, Starscream grew disinterested, sipping his drink and glancing around the bar. His optics alit on Knock Out and Breakdown, the smaller mech settled comfortably under the arm of his much larger conjunx. The two of them were deep in conversation, paying no attention to anything happening around them (including Blurr performing some rather impressive tricks with bottles of engex).

Telling himself he was merely looking for examples to work from to continue his plan with Rodimus, Starscream continued to watch the pair with his peripheral vision. He knew such trusting relationships existed, of course, having seen them in movies and otherwise from a distance, but he’d never experienced such a thing himself- four million years of being the second-in-command of one of the most feared mechanisms in the galaxy didn’t leave much room for interpersonal relationships, not to mention his own reputation for being a, quote unquote, “untrustworthy bag of bolts.”

Sure, Rodimus seemed to be having fun now, but it was certainly due to his interest in getting payback against Optimus, just as Starscream had a vendetta against Megatron. Theirs was a relationship of mutual convenience, just like any other time Starscream had worked together with someone.

Something Breakdown said made Knock Out laugh, laying one of his comparatively tiny hands on Breakdown’s huge one affectionately. Starscream sighed through his vents, only to go cross-opticked a moment later as a yellow hand waved in front of his face.

“Hellooooo, Cybertron to Starscream?” said Rodimus, poking him in the shoulder. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

“Wh- oh, my apologies,” the seeker said somewhat sheepishly. “I was… lost in thought.”

Rodimus leaned around to look at Starscream’s face, looking concerned. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Starscream nodded resolutely. “I was just thinking about all the paperwork that’s still on my desk- I should probably go soon to work on it.” And to get away from this horribly awkward situation, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“Oh, well don’t let me keep you!” Rodimus exclaimed. “We can always meet up again later when you’re less busy, hey?”

At that moment, a wild idea formed in Starscream’s head, caused by a variety of factors including but not limited to the high grade he’d just consumed, the public displays of affection he’d just witnessed, and the fact that Rodimus was still sitting very, very close to him. Trying not to think about what he was doing, he downed the remainder of his drink, put the glass back down with a little more force than necessary, grabbed Rodimus by his facial chevrons and kissed him square on the mouth.

Before Rodimus could even react, Starscream abruptly pulled away, practically hollered, “See you later!” and bolted out the door, barely remembering to transfer a few shanix to Rodimus’s account to pay for his drink as he left. The seeker couldn’t decide whether to be horrified or proud of himself, trying to will away the coolant rising in his face as he transformed to fly back to his office.

In the end, the only thing he could think was, _What have I gotten myself into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel as though I should add a disclaimer here that any time I refer to a character as "a mech" it's meant to simply be short for "mechanism," not as any kind of gendered term. I don't subscribe to the "mech/femme binary" stuff some parts of the fandom have come up with.


	3. You've Got Some Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little out of control, but everything turns out all right in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a real challenge to write, but I finally finished it, goddammit. This is technically the end of the story, but I'm definitely adding an epilogue and chances are good I'll write something else with this pairing in the future!
> 
> Big thanks again to Liv @hazelnutpon for being a huge help with writing this, and for being my co-conspirator with this ship.
> 
> The title of this chapter is from the song "Morning Mr Magpie" by Radiohead.
> 
> Content warnings for this chapter: this is where the "discussions of abuse" tag comes in. Nothing is specifically described, and it's pretty brief, but it's definitely there.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Rodimus thought to himself, staring blankly up at the darkened ceiling of his room. Recharge was eluding him, thanks to his processor repeatedly playing back the memory of Starscream kissing him. He’d known something like that would likely happen eventually as part of their little “plan”- he just hadn’t expected to enjoy it so much.

Or to want Starscream to kiss him again. Possibly several more times.

Rodimus groaned and put his hands over his overheating faceplate. This hadn’t been part of the plan at all! It was supposed to just be a little harmless fun, messing with Optimus and Megatron, and practicing getting along with old enemies while he was at it. Now he was afraid he was starting to develop… _feelings._ Feelings that certainly wouldn’t be reciprocated- Starscream had made it clear from the beginning he was only going along with this because of how much he hated Megatron.

At least the look on Optimus’s face had been priceless as Starscream left the bar. The Prime had sat there with his shock clearly evident since he’d retracted his faceplate to take a drink, and in the end run had just simulated a cough and picked up their conversation again as if nothing had happened.

Remembering that steeled his resolve- Rodimus had come up with this plan, dammit, and he was going to finish it. And if he had an ulterior motive behind the new idea he proposed to Starscream via a comm message that night, well, so be it.

✩✩✩

_Hey Stars-_  
_I’ve got the perfect idea for the next step in our little plan. We’ve already gotten Optimus and Megatron to notice what we’re doing, so now what we need to do is get someone else to mention it to one of them, to make the illusion even more believable. Megatron’s good buddies with Ultra Magnus (yeah, I know, it’s weird), so here’s my idea- I’ve got a meeting scheduled with Mags to discuss when we’ll take off from Cybertron again at 1300. You should come over around 1230, and when he comes into my office, he’ll “catch” us messing around or something. He’ll almost definitely mention it to Megatron at some point. Easy, right?_  
_Let me know if that’ll work for you._  
_-Rodimus_

Starscream read Rodimus’s message bemusedly over his morning energon. The seeker’s spontaneous move in Maccadam’s the previous day certainly seemed to have inspired the other mech, for better or worse. Agreeing to go along with this would certainly be awkward- but, then again, that was the point. So, Starscream drafted up a short message agreeing to go along with this new scheme (and NOT because he wanted to kiss Rodimus again, of course not), then set about his Chancellor-ly duties to pass the time until he would need to fly to the Lost Light.

The hours passed painfully slowly- Cybertron’s new government didn’t have much in the way of bureaucratic infrastructure yet, so a lot of incredibly mundane tasks fell to him, including approving new building permits, looking over lists of imports from and exports to the colony worlds, and, of course, sorting through letters of complaint from the citizens. That task in particular he didn’t dare delegate to Rattrap- giving the conniving little rodent access to that much ammunition to use against him was just asking for trouble. 

Starscream would just throw all of the letters away, but he was at least _trying_ to prove that he could be trusted as a leader, so he slogged through all the various gripes the citizens of the new Cybertronian republic had about his leadership, from problems with law enforcement to insufficient lighting in the lower districts (which he had explained _repeatedly_ was Windblade and her pet metrotitan’s fault, not his, but did anyone ever listen? No, of course not) to letters that were nothing more than meaningless insults. He supposed it was sort of sad how used to such things he was.

At long last, the time came for him to depart for the Lost Light. The trip didn’t take long (being able to fly at supersonic speeds had its advantages), and Ultra Magnus let him in with only a mildly irritated glare. He’d barely entered the main hall when Rodimus dashed up to him.

“C’mon, this way!” Rodimus said excitedly, grabbing his hand- Starscream had given up on protesting that by now- and dragging him off down a different hallway than the one he’d taken him down during his tour. This area of the ship appeared to house the more official rooms necessary for running a chain of command- various signs indicated the security room, medbay, and finally, the captain’s office. The door next to that of Rodimus’s office showed evidence of its original label having been hastily removed, and replaced with a sign reading “CO-CAPTAIN’S OFFICE.” This, in turn, showed evidence of having had graffiti cleaned from it multiple times.

Rodimus hastily punched in the code for his door and pulled Starscream inside behind him, nearly clipping the seeker’s wing in his haste to close it again.

“What’s the big hurry?” Starscream asked bemusedly, stepping pointedly away from the door.

“Just wanted to make sure we got here in time,” Rodimus explained, having the decency to at least look a little sheepish. “Ultra Magnus has a policy of ‘to be early is to be on time, and to be on time is to be late.’”

Starscream smirked at Rodimus’s impression of the Autobot officer. “So, how are we going about this?”

“Weeeeeell, I figured there wouldn’t have to be any actual kissing involved- I could just sit on my desk or something, and you could stand close enough to me to make it look realistic when he walks in.” Rodimus gestured vaguely to the surface of his desk.

Starscream pointedly ignored his vague sense of disappointment at this idea. “All right, sounds good to me.”

Rodimus hopped up nimbly to sit on the top of his desk, which Starscream noted was covered in seemingly nonsensical scribbles. Hesitantly, the seeker walked up to him, getting as close as he dared without a direct invitation. He stopped, however, when he noticed Rodimus cocking his head, as if listening for something.

“Hear that?” Rodimus whispered.

Starscream furrowed his brow, straining his audials. He realized he could, in fact, hear heavy footsteps a ways down the hall. He nodded, and Rodimus grinned.

“Magnus must have decided to show up early- this is perfect!” He tugged on Starscream’s shoulderplate. “C’mere, we gotta make this look good.”

Starscream obligingly stepped into Rodimus’s personal space, hesitantly placing a hand on the Autobot’s knee. Rodimus relocated the hand on his shoulder to the back of his neck, pulling him in so their faceplates were mere inches apart. To an outsider, it would indeed look like they had just been kissing.

Starscream’s first thought, for whatever reason, was that this was nothing like their kiss at Maccadam’s, which had been so hurried he’d barely even registered what it felt like. Now, he could feel Rodimus’s vents shifting the air around his face, and registered the pale blue glow of his half-dimmed optics. It was… actually sort of nice.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, the footsteps approaching the door completely forgotten. Then, suddenly- and neither was really sure who initiated it- they actually were kissing, the edge of Starscream’s helm bumping against Rodimus’s chevron, the seeker’s other hand coming to rest on Rodimus’s chestplate. He felt the engine underneath kick up a gear, the hand on the back of his neck tightening.

Behind Starscream, there was the sound of buttons being pushed on the keypad just outside. He felt Rodimus grin in anticipation. The door slid open, aaaand...

“Rodimus, I need you to- what is the meaning of this?!” exclaimed a deep voice that _definitely did not belong to Ultra Magnus._

Starscream froze, petrified, as Rodimus leaned away from him to greet the unexpected interloper. 

“Uh… hey, Megs! What’s up?” said Rodimus with obviously forced nonchalance.

Abruptly, Starscream found the ability to move again, and shoved the Autobot away from him. Turning on his heel, he stalked out the door, Megatron bewilderedly moving out of his way.

✩✩✩

The look on Megatron’s face was, if anything, even more priceless than how Optimus had looked when Starscream had kissed Rodimus. Unfortunately, Rodimus was unable to fully appreciate it, being too busy worrying about what had caused the seeker to suddenly leave like that.

“Listen, I can explain later, but I’ve really gotta go after him,” Rodimus said hastily, making for the door, but Megatron blocked him.

“Rodimus, _what_ is going on?” the big mech questioned him, brows furrowed. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“Honestly, I’m not even sure myself, but _please_ move out of the way,” Rodimus insisted, and Megatron finally moved, although he looked no less confused.

Rodimus sprinted out the door, only to freeze in the hallway outside as Starscream was nowhere in sight. However, a very confused-looking Skids was standing a few feet away.

“Skids!” Rodimus half-shouted. “Did you see where Starscream went?”

The blue bot nodded. “Yeah, he went that way,” he said, pointing to Rodimus’s right. “Why, what happened?”

“No time to explain, I’ll tell you later!” Rodimus announced, immediately running in the direction Skids had indicated. “Maybe!” he added over his shoulder.

It quickly became evident that Starscream had not managed to remember which way the exit was in his hurry, because this hallway only led to the engines and a few spare habsuites. Figuring the seeker wouldn’t have gone into any of the habs, Rodimus beelined for the engine room.

Sure enough, from the other side of one of the quantum engines Rodimus could see the edge of a red and white wing. “Starscream!” he called out, quickly walking over, only to stop dead in his tracks when the seeker emerged, wings flared tensely and a nearly murderous look on his face.

“So, this was your plan all along, hm?” Starscream snarled. “Give Megatron one last shot at me before the Knights of Cybertron put him to death?”

Rodimus’s eyebrows flew up. “What?! No! Listen, that was a total accident- I had no idea Megatron was even coming. Besides, wasn’t him seeing us… y’know, doing stuff, part of the plan anyway?”

Starscream’s optics narrowed. “Well, pardon me for assuming you’d have the decency to at least be a little cautious about letting someone who wants to _kill_ me within my vicinity. Or did you think he’d just let my testimony against him slide, since he’s a good little Autobot now?”

Rodimus paused for a moment. “Wait, did you think I’d just let him go at you?”

“Well, it’s not like anyone ever bothered to try stopping him before.” Starscream’s tone was still venomous, and yet there almost seemed to be an edge of resignation in it now.

Suddenly, Rodimus remembered something. Directly after Starscream’s testimony at Megatron’s trial, the warlord had changed his plea and demanded to be judged by the Knights of Cybertron, which was what led him to join their merry space adventure to begin with. Starscream had looked utterly terrified, and very nearly begged the Autobot leaders to not bow to Megatron’s wishes.

Rodimus had dismissed it at the time, only knowing Starscream as the conniving Decepticon he’d faced off against during the war, but now he saw the situation in a whole new light- the seeker had testified so confidently because he thought Megatron couldn’t touch him anymore, but the next moment the Autobots had practically set him free… and now Rodimus had led him right to him.

“Primus, Starscream, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ever think about it that way.” Rodimus took a hesitant step forward. He looked Starscream in the optics, and was met with a maelstrom of emotions playing across the seeker’s face.

The two of them stood there staring at each other uncertainly for a moment, until Starscream averted his eyes. “Well, I… appreciate your apology,” he said thickly. “I suppose I should go now.”

Unable to think of anything to say, Rodimus watched helplessly as Starscream strode past him, heading for the door.

“Wait!” Rodimus exclaimed suddenly, surprising even himself.

Starscream whirled around, eyes narrowed. “What?”

“I, uh…” Rodimus stammered, uncharacteristically unsure of himself. “Would you, uh…”

Somehow, Starscream managed to look even more irritated. “Rodimus, I have _important_ business I need to get back to.” He started to turn as if to leave again, which gave Rodimus the catalyst he needed.

“Doyoumaybestillwanttodate?” Rodimus spit out all at once.

“Say again?” Starscream turned back towards him, raising an eyebrow.

“I said, do you maybe… still want to date? Even though, you know, the plan didn’t work out.” Rodimus forced himself to slow down, feeling his face heating up.

The look on the seeker’s face was unreadable, and Rodimus was starting to get slightly terrified. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to though, I mean I did just really mess up and we _were_ enemies not too long ago, and… I’m sorry, I’m probably just making this worse, aren’t I.” He deflated, fully expecting Starscream to laugh in his face and leave.

Instead, the seeker’s face turned considering, and he took a step closer to Rodimus. “You’re… actually serious, aren’t you?”

“Wh- of course I am!” Rodimus protested. “Do you think I’d be humiliating myself like this if I wasn’t?”

“No, I suppose not,” Starscream looked at him for a few moments more, seemingly deep in thought, then nodded. “Very well, Rodimus, I accept.”

Rodimus’s eyebrows flew up in shock. “What, really?!”

“What, was I not supposed to say yes?” Starscream asked caustically.

“Well, no, I mean-” Rodimus shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts. “I kind of just thought you were only being nice to me because of our plan, y’know?”

Starscream clicked his vocalizer in amusement. “Contrary to what many think of me, I _am_ actually capable of being a decent individual if given the chance. And I will admit, it has been… pleasant, to be treated as an equal by an Autobot.”

Rodimus grinned. “I’ll treat you better than _that_ if you’ll let me.” And Starscream actually looked sort of touched.

The two of them stood looking at each other, the hum of the quantum engines the only noise in the room- the silence comfortable, this time.

Then, Rodimus moved to close the gap between them, placing tentative hands on Starscream’s shoulders. The seeker didn’t attempt to stop him, but seemed puzzled. “What are you doing?”

“Hugging you, if that’s okay,” Rodimus explained.

The other seemed hesitant, and Rodimus was tempted to pull away and apologize, but before he could, Starscream shrugged, then nodded, spreading his own arms. “I’ll try anything once,” he joked half-heartedly.

With that, Rodimus swept Starscream into a tight hug, one hand going to the space between his wings, the other to his lower back. Starscream’s head ended up notched between Rodimus’s neck and shoulder kibble, and he carefully wrapped his arms around the Autobot in return. Rodimus was gratified to feel the former Decepticon actually relax a little, with a quiet hum that reverberated against his facial chevron.

Which was, of course, the moment when Swerve kicked down the door.

“Freeze, Decepticon! Hands off the captain!” the bartender hollered, a brightly-colored blaster in his hands and a dozen Lost Light-ers running in behind him.

Starscream instinctively threw his hands in the air and started to back away, but Rodimus stepped between him and the impromptu mob. “Woah, woah!” he yelled, reaching blindly behind him and grabbing Starscream’s hand. “Guys, it’s fine, he wasn’t attacking me!”

“I slagging _told_ you,” muttered a voice that sounded like Skids.

Serve looked bewildered, but he lowered his gun slightly. “Then what was he doing? Because it looked to me like you were two seconds away from experiencing a new style of ‘jet judo.’”

“Oh please,” Starscream drawled, emerging from behind Rodimus (but not letting go of his hand, he was inordinately pleased to note), “You’re _Autobots_ \- don’t tell me hugging is a foreign concept to you.”

Swerve’s jaw dropped. “Is this what that whole scene in my bar was about? Does this mean you two really are…” he made a vague gesture with the hand not holding the blaster.

“Er, yes, yes it does,” Rodimus confirmed a little awkwardly. “So please refrain from threatening Starscream with a gun in the future, as if him being the elected leader of our entire race wasn’t enough reason for you to not do that to begin with.” He could almost hear Starscream grin.

“All right everybody, false alarm,” Swerve called to the group behind him, as if that wasn’t already obvious, then turned back to the pair in front of him. “I’ll let you two get back to… doing whatever it is you were doing. And, uh… sorry for threatening you with a gun, Starscream.”

Starscream seemed a little surprised, but recovered quickly. “Apology accepted.”

The pair of them watched as everyone shuffled out, the door closing again behind them. Then, Starscream turned to face Rodimus again. “Now then,” he said mischievously, using the hand still holding his to drag him closer, “Where were we?”

And this time, when Rodimus laughed and pulled Starscream in to kiss him for the third time, there were no Primes, warlords, bartenders, or any others around to interrupt them.


	4. Epilogue: Something Good Can Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several months later, the Lost Light comes back to Cybertron again.

It was late afternoon when Starscream left the capitol, looking forward to getting home and maybe taking a nap. He was nearly far enough from the building to transform and fly off when a familiar red and orange sports car careened around the corner at an entirely unsafe and possibly illegal speed.

Instantly forgetting his exhaustion after a long day at the office, Starscream took the remaining stairs to the sidewalk two at a time as Rodimus skidded to a halt at the curb.

Coming up next to the car, Starscream tapped his knuckles against the driver’s-side door. “Transform already, will you?” he said impatiently, crossing his arms.

Rodimus blinked his headlights playfully. “Why, what’s in it for me?”

“Oh, I’m sure I can think of some way to reward you,” Starscream smirked.

Rodimus finally transformed, laughing as he did so. “Are you trying to bribe me, High Chancellor? Whatever would the Council think?”

“Oh, be quiet and come over here,” Starscream cut the banter short in favor of grabbing Rodimus’s hand, using it to reel him in (not that the Autobot put up much resistance). The seeker’s other hand came up to cup his cheek, the metal warm and alive under his fingertips.

Rodimus leaned into the touch, smiling fondly at Starscream. “I missed you, you know,” he said quietly.

Starscream wasn’t positive how to respond to that- this whole “healthy relationship” thing was still pretty new to him- but he figured the next best thing would be to finally kiss Rodimus, as he’d been initially intending to. Rodimus seemed to have no complaints about this, and Starscream felt him grin, the Autobot’s free hand landing on his hip.

Then, someone honked at them from the busy road they were mere feet away from, a fact both of them had momentarily forgotten. 

Rodimus broke the kiss, grinning. “So, my place or yours?” he laughed.

Starscream considered for a moment. “Why don’t we go back to my place? I’m sure you’re sick of being cooped up on that spaceship of yours by now.”

“Sure, as long as I can show you this new movie Rewind and some of the crew put together- it’s a riot,” Rodimus agreed, taking his hand from Starscream’s hip to pull a data drive from his subspace and show it to him proudly.  
Starscream squinted at the scrawled writing on the drive. “‘Back To The Future To The Past: The Final Reckoning’?” he read out loud, looking bemused. “Sounds… fascinating.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it,” Rodimus said confidently. “Now lead the way- we’ve got, like, six months of cuddling to catch up on.”

True to his word, Rodimus barely allowed Starscream to cross the threshold of his house before he pulled him over to the couch and fell backwards onto it, dragging the seeker down on top of him. The movie- starring Swerve and Tailgate, with special effects by Brainstorm and deadpan narration by Ultra Magnus- wasn’t exactly a blockbuster, but Rodimus seemed so enthused by it that Starscream couldn’t help but enjoy the experience. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Rodimus stayed pressed close to him throughout the film, seemingly unwilling to break contact with him at any point.

And after the credits rolled and the two of them retired to Starscream’s berth for the night (with Starscream being the “big spoon” out of necessity due to his wings), it occurred to the seeker that he couldn’t remember ever being this happy before. And somehow, that thought didn’t scare him- instead, he just smiled, tipped his had forward to rest against the back of Rodimus’s neck, and allowed himself to fall into recharge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY FINISHED. Sorry this last little bit took so long- I'm easily distracted and the end of the school year has made me extra busy on top of that. One last big thank you to Liv for proofreading all of this! And, of course, thank you to everyone who's left kudos and nice comments thoughout all this. Hopefully I'll get inspired to write some more Transformers fic soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! This is my first ever Transformers fic, so let me know how I'm doing.


End file.
